Ever looked in the mirror and wondered "who is that person staring back at me"? Yep, I have too! Actually, I do it every day. The older I get, the more I remind myself of my mother (hence the title of this post, "Little Judy"). If you asked Jared, he'd tell you I'm "Little Kelly" (my sister). Unfortunately, Jared never had the privilege of meeting my sweet mama, but if he had, he'd realize "Little Judy" and "Little Kelly" mean the exact same thing! Either way, I take it as a compliment. You see, my mom and my sister just happen to be two of the greatest women I've ever known.
My mom had a heart that was always open. She never judged people based on their beliefs or lifestyles. She had faith that could move a mountain. And she supported her children no matter what decisions we made (now this doesn't mean we never got in trouble though).
She wasn't perfect ... no one is. My sweet mama had a temper like a mama bear if anyone messed with her babies! And, although she was always forgiving of her children, she was known to hold a grudge or two.
I wish I could say I had all of my mother's positive attributes, but I'm sure I don't. However, the ones about faith and family I come by honest. I also got my "protective instincts" and grudge holding from her too (but she got hers from her mom, and I hope my kids get it from me too - if we don't take up for our families who will?).
So, I guess the things that some might call imperfections, are things I wouldn't have changed about her for anything in the world. And when I look in the mirror and see my mom or my sister staring back at me, it makes me so very proud of the woman I've grown up to be.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Remembering ...
I remember walking through the back door at the formal wear/salon where I worked part-time while attending community college. One of the ladies I worked for (who is also one of my dearest friends) was already there cutting a local police officer's hair. From the back I could hear them talking. Their voices echoed with fear and sadness. As I listened and realized what they were talking about, I too became overwhelmed with fear, sadness and even loneliness.
I didn't turn the TV on that morning. I remember it like it was yesterday. Just six weeks before the 9/11 attack on America, my mother passed away. She was taken from us suddenly in a car accident, and my mind and heart still hadn't quite adjusted. So, it wasn't unlike me to get ready for work in complete silence. It was usually the time I took to pray. I would pray for a peaceful day, for God to give me the strength to make it through and always for the safety of my family.
At the moment I realized our nation was under attack, I didn't feel any of those things ... peaceful, strong or safe. I turned the radio to our local Christian station and listened to my pastor explain what was happening and try to comfort his listeners. I called my family, and, of course, they were all safe, but they were feeling the same emotions as everyone else. I remember going home and watching the video of the towers falling, hearing story after heartbreaking story on the news and realizing what it meant to truly feel patriotic from the hair on my head to the polish on my toes. Eventually, I knew every word to Toby Keith's song, American Soldier, and "Let's Roll" became a motto I wanted to live by too.
Today, I sit here with a mix of emotions. Again, the patriotism I feel is taking over. I've known several who have fought and are still fighting for our country ... in this war and those before. There aren't enough words to describe the gratitude I feel towards the men and women who risk their lives for me, my family and our safety every day.
The news broke, and the death of Osama Bin Laden was celebrated. And, yes, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he "got what he deserved" as so many are describing the event on Facebook and Twitter. I too am celebrating the work and courage of our Navy Seals, the CIA and all involved. But for a minute let's stop and think about what this all means.
The families of those who suffered and died on September 11 can finally have a little bit of closure. Although, when a family member is taken from us, I don't think we ever really get complete closure. Hug those you love today, and never miss an opportunity to say, "I love you."
And, now maybe our troops can come home. I know there are moms, dads, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends who haven't seen their loved ones in a long time. Don't take advantage of the fact that your family lives five minutes or five hours away from you. Embrace every opportunity God gives you to enjoy each other.
Lastly, think about what it means to be patriotic. You don't have to serve in the military or fight in a war to fulfill your patriotic duties. You can serve this land we love and the freedom we share right where you are. Volunteer for a local non-profit, support the things you believe in and exercise your freedoms.
We shouldn't celebrate the death, but rejoice in the cause. Today, our country and our world are safer than they were yesterday. Today, we have the opportunity to realize our patriotic role and make a difference. Today, we can change our lives and the lives around us by just focusing on making a difference. As a mentor of mine posted on Twitter this morning, "let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."
God Bless America!
I didn't turn the TV on that morning. I remember it like it was yesterday. Just six weeks before the 9/11 attack on America, my mother passed away. She was taken from us suddenly in a car accident, and my mind and heart still hadn't quite adjusted. So, it wasn't unlike me to get ready for work in complete silence. It was usually the time I took to pray. I would pray for a peaceful day, for God to give me the strength to make it through and always for the safety of my family.
At the moment I realized our nation was under attack, I didn't feel any of those things ... peaceful, strong or safe. I turned the radio to our local Christian station and listened to my pastor explain what was happening and try to comfort his listeners. I called my family, and, of course, they were all safe, but they were feeling the same emotions as everyone else. I remember going home and watching the video of the towers falling, hearing story after heartbreaking story on the news and realizing what it meant to truly feel patriotic from the hair on my head to the polish on my toes. Eventually, I knew every word to Toby Keith's song, American Soldier, and "Let's Roll" became a motto I wanted to live by too.
Today, I sit here with a mix of emotions. Again, the patriotism I feel is taking over. I've known several who have fought and are still fighting for our country ... in this war and those before. There aren't enough words to describe the gratitude I feel towards the men and women who risk their lives for me, my family and our safety every day.
The news broke, and the death of Osama Bin Laden was celebrated. And, yes, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he "got what he deserved" as so many are describing the event on Facebook and Twitter. I too am celebrating the work and courage of our Navy Seals, the CIA and all involved. But for a minute let's stop and think about what this all means.
The families of those who suffered and died on September 11 can finally have a little bit of closure. Although, when a family member is taken from us, I don't think we ever really get complete closure. Hug those you love today, and never miss an opportunity to say, "I love you."
And, now maybe our troops can come home. I know there are moms, dads, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends who haven't seen their loved ones in a long time. Don't take advantage of the fact that your family lives five minutes or five hours away from you. Embrace every opportunity God gives you to enjoy each other.
Lastly, think about what it means to be patriotic. You don't have to serve in the military or fight in a war to fulfill your patriotic duties. You can serve this land we love and the freedom we share right where you are. Volunteer for a local non-profit, support the things you believe in and exercise your freedoms.
We shouldn't celebrate the death, but rejoice in the cause. Today, our country and our world are safer than they were yesterday. Today, we have the opportunity to realize our patriotic role and make a difference. Today, we can change our lives and the lives around us by just focusing on making a difference. As a mentor of mine posted on Twitter this morning, "let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me."
God Bless America!
Monday, March 14, 2011
My New Arm!
Well, it's been 11 days since my surgery, and so far we're good. (Minus the reaction I had to my meds that required an ER visit. Not complaining though. It could have been worse. And, I was all better pretty quickly.)
Jared and I drove to Nashville today for my post operation appointment. I love my doctor! His name is Donald Lee at Vanderbilt University. If you ever have a need for an upper extremity ortho guy, he's the best! My appointment went well, but it's easier to explain with pictures. So, here we go ...
Here's what you're seeing in the picture above: My actual humerus is the bone that has 4 screws in it down to my elbow. My cadaver bone is from the top of the screws up to the big white ball. And, I still have my own socket that the metal ball hooks to. The really white rod that goes from the ball of my shoulder down the center of my cadaver bone was inserted after I broke my arm in 2004. There's also a plate that runs down the side; my screws are hooked to it, and there's a weird metal band that holds the plate to my cadaver bone towards the top. Confusing? I agree. The problem with this contraption is that everything is falling apart, shifting around and breaking. I guess I should have written all of that in past tense since I don't have any of it anymore.
Jared calls this image my blue print. I think it's really neat looking, so I thought I'd share.
I've shown this before, but I thought I'd include it with this post too. This is the "new metal" that allowed my rotator cuff to be sewn to the metal. Long story short: it keeps my shoulder from popping in and out of socket. We love this piece and pray it works!
This is what my arm looks like today. Originally, we thought Dr. Lee was only replacing the cadaver bone and taking the 4 screws out of my humerus to heal as a broken bone. As you can see in this x-ray, he ended up taking out almost all of my bone to just above my elbow. There's some funky screws in there which is how the metal is hooked into what's left of my humerus. This decision was made to make my arm more sturdy. Now, I have less of a chance for stress to occur at the connection site. This is a good thing!
Let me back up for a minute ... Before surgery, while I was in pre-op, the anesthesiologist came in and asked to do a nerve block in my neck. Well, that scared me to death. As if I wasn't already nervous enough, I had to decide whether or not to let them stick a large needle down my neck and essentially paralyze that side. Don't judge. I'm pretty tough. But if I had to choose between dealing with pain or taking a chance on being paralyzed or having nerve damage, I choose the pain. However, they talked me into the nerve block. I wouldn't let them do it without Jared being in there with me holding my hand. He was a champ! I focused on him and all was well.
Guess what? After surgery, I was glad they talked me into the crazy block! I couldn't believe how good I felt when I woke up in recovery. I even told Jared, "you're getting a much better deal than my sister got with my last surgery." You know the saying about when something seems too good to be true ... About 3 or 4 hours after surgery, the block stopped working. Have you ever had bone pain? Well, if you haven't, I hope you never do. If you have, you know that I wasn't a happy camper. The doctors made me keep the block in "just in case" it started working again. So, it stayed in until Jared took it out the Monday after we came home from the hospital. It was the best feeling ever! And I was proud of my hubby for being able to handle that kind of stuff without passing out. LOL
So, back to today ... It's been 11 days, and although the recovery has been harder than I anticipated ... a little more pain than I expected and a reaction to my meds ... most everything has gone really well. The doctor was pleased with my recovery with one exception: my shoulder has fallen out of socket a little bit. He thinks it can be fixed with a new sling that will push the ball of shoulder back into place. Also, the more I use my muscle, the stronger it will get and will naturally pull my shoulder back into place. Since I can't use my arm now, I'm supposed to flex my deltoid as often as I can. Eventually, it will get better.
It wasn't a perfect report, but it wasn't bad either. I'll take it! I'm about 2 weeks from being able to drive and function on my own. And, I'm about 5 weeks from getting back to life without a sling. Yippee! Every day gets better and better!
Any time you have medical issues, there's always going to be some positives and negatives. No matter what happens with this surgery and recovery, please know that I'm thankful for all of it! I know I have to go through some tough stuff to be able to get the arm I've been praying for. In the end, it's all totally worth it! I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful people praying us through this!
Here are some pictures from today:
So, new sling and no stitches = happy Rian! We go back to see Dr. Lee 2 weeks from today. I'll keep you posted, but please continue to pray for us. This party ain't over yet!
Jared and I drove to Nashville today for my post operation appointment. I love my doctor! His name is Donald Lee at Vanderbilt University. If you ever have a need for an upper extremity ortho guy, he's the best! My appointment went well, but it's easier to explain with pictures. So, here we go ...
 |
| Before surgery |
 |
| My blue prints |
 |
| My experiment |
 |
| Today's x-ray |
Let me back up for a minute ... Before surgery, while I was in pre-op, the anesthesiologist came in and asked to do a nerve block in my neck. Well, that scared me to death. As if I wasn't already nervous enough, I had to decide whether or not to let them stick a large needle down my neck and essentially paralyze that side. Don't judge. I'm pretty tough. But if I had to choose between dealing with pain or taking a chance on being paralyzed or having nerve damage, I choose the pain. However, they talked me into the nerve block. I wouldn't let them do it without Jared being in there with me holding my hand. He was a champ! I focused on him and all was well.
Guess what? After surgery, I was glad they talked me into the crazy block! I couldn't believe how good I felt when I woke up in recovery. I even told Jared, "you're getting a much better deal than my sister got with my last surgery." You know the saying about when something seems too good to be true ... About 3 or 4 hours after surgery, the block stopped working. Have you ever had bone pain? Well, if you haven't, I hope you never do. If you have, you know that I wasn't a happy camper. The doctors made me keep the block in "just in case" it started working again. So, it stayed in until Jared took it out the Monday after we came home from the hospital. It was the best feeling ever! And I was proud of my hubby for being able to handle that kind of stuff without passing out. LOL
So, back to today ... It's been 11 days, and although the recovery has been harder than I anticipated ... a little more pain than I expected and a reaction to my meds ... most everything has gone really well. The doctor was pleased with my recovery with one exception: my shoulder has fallen out of socket a little bit. He thinks it can be fixed with a new sling that will push the ball of shoulder back into place. Also, the more I use my muscle, the stronger it will get and will naturally pull my shoulder back into place. Since I can't use my arm now, I'm supposed to flex my deltoid as often as I can. Eventually, it will get better.
It wasn't a perfect report, but it wasn't bad either. I'll take it! I'm about 2 weeks from being able to drive and function on my own. And, I'm about 5 weeks from getting back to life without a sling. Yippee! Every day gets better and better!
Any time you have medical issues, there's always going to be some positives and negatives. No matter what happens with this surgery and recovery, please know that I'm thankful for all of it! I know I have to go through some tough stuff to be able to get the arm I've been praying for. In the end, it's all totally worth it! I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful people praying us through this!
Here are some pictures from today:
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| First time without my sling on ... |
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| The swelling on the inside of my arm and around my elbow is gross! |
 |
| Waiting to get my stitches out ... |
So, new sling and no stitches = happy Rian! We go back to see Dr. Lee 2 weeks from today. I'll keep you posted, but please continue to pray for us. This party ain't over yet!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
We're Home!
We're home! I'm having good moments and some tough ones too ... totally expected though! Started running a fever last night, but we got it under control before it reached the "have to go to ER" degree. Praise the Lord for that! Sleeping off and on for about 2 hours at a time. Jared said it was like having a newborn baby! LOL!
As for the surgery ... They ended up taking more of MY bone out - the part above the elbow. We didn't know that was going to happen, but we're glad they did this. The last two screws right above my elbow had to come out, and that was going to leave me with two holes that would have to heal. Now I'm more stable - metal from the ball of my shoulder to right above my elbow. Ive got new x-rays that Jared is going to scan later today, and I'll share those then. It makes more sense when you can see the pictures. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of my new robotic arm!
Ill try to post updates every day or two, but I can only type with one hand so its a slow process. Thank you for your continued prayers ... This too shall pass and I know Ill get better every day! Lots of love!
As for the surgery ... They ended up taking more of MY bone out - the part above the elbow. We didn't know that was going to happen, but we're glad they did this. The last two screws right above my elbow had to come out, and that was going to leave me with two holes that would have to heal. Now I'm more stable - metal from the ball of my shoulder to right above my elbow. Ive got new x-rays that Jared is going to scan later today, and I'll share those then. It makes more sense when you can see the pictures. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of my new robotic arm!
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| Waiting on my escort out of the hospital! I was so ready to come home. |
Ill try to post updates every day or two, but I can only type with one hand so its a slow process. Thank you for your continued prayers ... This too shall pass and I know Ill get better every day! Lots of love!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Graciously Overwhelmed
I can't begin to tell you how overwhelmed I am by all the kind words I've received over the last few days regarding my surgery. All of your thoughts and prayers are truly awesome! Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Well, in my case, there are hundreds coming together in His name, and I can't thank you enough for that. How awesome is it to know that God is still in the prayer answering business? I have no doubt that I am in God's hands, and I trust the plan He has for me. It doesn't mean I'm not a little nervous, because I'm human and (mostly) normal. But I'm not scared. God's got this. You are all truly amazing friends, and we are so blessed that each and every one of you are a part of our lives. Jared is going to do his best to post updates on both of our facebook pages. Surgery is at 7:30 CST on Thursday. Lots of love and blessings for everyone!
Rian
Rian
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